JamieRelationship Problems

Renowned Pastor of The Potter’s House and celebrated author Bishop T.D. Jakes has a brilliant take on the “Pareto Principle:” also known as the “80-20 Rule.” The 80-20 Rule basically states that in a given scenario, 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. Bishop Jakes flips the script and applies this principle to how we relate to our mates. Using the 80-20 rule in the subject of love, he says that while both parties generally take for granted the 80% that is good about their mate, they tend to focus more of their actions, reactions, and responses on the 20% of things important to them as it relates to the qualities that their mate does not possess.

We become so blinded by the absence of the 20% we’re not getting that we are willing to throw away the 80%! It is purely a matter of perspective – the glass being half-full or half-empty. A beneficial viewpoint could be to realize that by pushing the person away just because of the little things you don’t like about them, you are taking the chance of losing a wonderful mate that almost brings perfection to your life. What if we trained ourselves to focus on the almost 100% that we are getting and develop strategies to help us ourselves accept as much as we can of those characteristics that we may not like?

Chances are, they have to do the same with us.

Contrary to what we’ve read in novels or seen in romantic comedies, there is no perfect mate. He or she just does not exist. We all have “warts.” Human beings are flawed by nature, so to enter a relationship with the expectation that anyone comes to us offering 100% of what we desire is already setting up the relationship for failure. None of us brings to any relationship 100% of anything – not even you.

When things go poorly and relationships struggle, all three Frenemals can come into play. Let’s start by analyzing the woman and how the three Frenemals can attack. Most women enter romantic relationships with the best of intentions, but reliance on well-meaning-yet-counterproductive Frenemals for advice and support can lead to the destruction of the relationship before it even has a chance to start. It is generally perceived that, from a sociological standpoint, men tend to take much longer to mature into being the type of companion a woman desires, than a woman does in assuming the same role for him.

In knowing this, women can either proceed with an understanding… To continue reading purchase below.